


A Birthday Surprise

by AlastorsBambi (AkaraSoma)



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series), Helluva Boss (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21943432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkaraSoma/pseuds/AlastorsBambi
Summary: This is a birthday gift for my friend Angel Dust on the Dapper Dresser discord!HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SLUT! I LOVE YOU!
Relationships: Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 17





	A Birthday Surprise

“When ya said ya had a surprise for me and put this thing on, I didn’t think we’d be goin’ anywhere, toots.”

“Oh, stop ya bitchin’, Angel! I promise you’ll like it!” Angel tilted his head when he felt her lean close to his ear to stage whisper, “If you don’t, I’ll give you a sex tape of Al being submissive.”

“Oooh, black mail!” The smile that split his face was like a kid on Christmas, not a man who just got promised porn. “Still, I like bein’ tied up, Bamboo-Bee, not bein’ led around like a show pony… Not without bein’ paid, at least.”

“Just shut up and drink the bubbly, you spindly twink. We’ll be there soon!” Angel pouted but took the champagne glass from Bambi and did as he was told. “I haven’t disappointed you yet!”

Bambi had ambushed him at the ass crack of dawn, jumping on his bed and beating him awake with pillows. She had ran a bath beforehand and gave him a mani-pedi while he had a mask in his hair and on his face. Afterwards, Bambi had spent forty minutes on his make-up.

She had brushed his hair and fur out, focusing on keeping his chest as floofalicious as possible and brushing out loose strands. Then, she painted the nails on all six hands and his “spider beans,” as she called them. She even painted Fat Nuggets’ hooves a matching color and Angel ruined the make-up she’d just applied crying at how cute it was.

Bambi then had dressed him in a new skew-neck sweater dress she’d crocheted him (WITH LINED POCKETS!) with some silky feeling yarn in a shade that matched her hair, a very cute pair of boyshorts in his favorite shade of pink, a pair of black crushed velvet thigh highs with a garter belt to keep them up, and a new set of ankle boots that matched the dress.

He could’ve cried when Bambi told him that Alastor had helped her make the boots, teaching her leatherworking for months before she finally got them right for his feet.

She set up Fat Nuggets with Teeth, so he knew his precious baby was safe from Alastor’s bacon cravings. Angel still wondered what Bambi did to that man to have him stop hunting the pig by just arching an eyebrow, but he figured that’s probably something kinky he (for once) doesn’t want to know.

Charlie’s limo finally stopped and Bambi got out before helping Angel out. Linking arms, the duo walked up a few steps and Angel heard a bell announce their arrival. He smelled clothing, leather, and… Was that metal? He was biting his lip and jumping in place trying not to ask where they were, but he had an idea.

Bambi pulled Angel down to take the blindfold off with a flourish. Momentarily blinded, Angel blinked to get the sudden spots out of his eyes. When he opened them, his jaw dropped.

The boutique they were in was massive. Black marble floors, rose gold metal accents and chandeliers, heavy red velvet curtains, and racks upon racks of clothing from all time periods and cultures. Everything from actual armor to the most delicate lace. Angel could see lingerie and hosiery and shoes way in the back, too.

Even when he was working full time for Valentino, he’d never been able to afford a place like this. The most he could get was a classy version of Walmart.

“Bambi! Little Fawn! Is that you?” A posh, feminine voice called from the draped dressing rooms.

A classy looking demoness in a Victorian dress and wide brimmed sun hat came out in a flourish of the heavy red velvet. Her eyes crinkled with a wide, sharp toothy smile when her eyes landed on Bambi, who walked forward to meet her with a smile of her own.

“Miss Rosie!” Bambi met Rosie in a reserved hug, kissing both her cheeks. “Thank you so much for this favor. Just wanted to treat my friend to the best on his birthday and who better than yourself?”

“Oh, flattery with get you _everything_ , darling!” Rosie squished Bambi’s cheeks before rounding on Angel, snapping her fingers. “Now, Mister Dust! Right this way!”

Some Roselings appeared and took Angel’s arms, dragging him to one of the raised platforms in front of the folding mirrors. One took off his boots and the rest flittered around him in a flurry of chitters, gently undressing him and taking measurements he didn’t even know he had. He was getting flustered from the attention and that was a feat in and of itself.

“Uh… What’s goin’ on wit alla dis?”

“Our little Fawn didn’t tell you?” Miss Rosie pinned Bambi with a look, which was promptly ignored as she stepped onto her own platform on Angel’s left in just a plain black cotton thong. “Well, since she took over this part of the Red Light District from Valentino, business has been booming for my little shop! All the harlots and dancers are free to do as they please and they run the brothels much better now that they can manage themselves, so they spend on more than just underthings!”

“I modelled the Management the same way Brothels up top are run in Nevada,” the aforementioned Reindeer said while a Roseling took her bust measurements. She dropped her arms and grabbed an offered mixed drink from another of Rosie’s minions. “If the worker doesn’t like how the John looks, they don’t gotta fuck ‘em. If someone tries to force them, they get killed.”

“Anyways, I owed Bambi a favor for the little boon and she’s refused to collect-”

“You’re getting paid whether you like it or not, Miss Rosie!” Bambi called from a rack of fashion corsets.

“-Until she mentioned wanting to do something for a friend’s birthday!” Rosie helped Angel into his own black robe that had _Birthday Slut_ embroidered in hot pink on the breast. “I figured it was the perfect opportunity to even our debt, so I offered to close shop for the day to get you all fitted for a new yearly wardrobe!”

Angel choked and spluttered on his champagne, Miss Rosie pulling a fan out of nowhere to block it from hitting her face. She pat his back gently and gave him a handkerchief to clean his face before gliding off to start on the mountain of alterations she had to do.

Angel rushed over to Bambi. Picking her up by her ribs to be at his level, she yelped as he shook her slightly. “THIS IS TOO MUCH!”

“Not really? Miss Rosie thinks she owes me a solid, so I just cashed in on it, Ang.”

“Bambi, this place has **NEVER** been on my payroll! This part of the district was too expensive, even fa’ me!”

Bambi leaned forward, ears perked towards him and eyebrows raised. “Aaaaand?”

The spider made a shrieking noise that definitely didn’t belong in Miss Rosie’s shop and sinking to his knees, pulling the doe to his chest. Bambi spluttered as his fur when into her ears and nose, flattening the fluff before looking up at the porn star’s face. Her ears and tail bristled in alarm when she saw his lips wobble and eyes watering.

“Oh, no! No, no, no! Don’t cry!” Bambi wiggled, trying to get free. Only managing to get her arms free just as Angel wailed and buried his face in her less impressive chest fur, she wrapped her arms around him and panicked. “Great, I broke you on your birthday!”

“Youse set this all up fa’ me?” Angel gazed at the doe, heterochromatic eyes wide and hopeful. “No one’s evah done somethin’ like this fa’ me – not since I got down here!”

“Of course I did, Dusty. I love you and wanted to do something nice for you!”

“Why, though? I’m just a literal fuck boy – a literal fuckin’ joke!”

Bambi took a handful of his chest fluff and twisted it harshly in the best impersonation of a nipple twister she could without actively searching to see if he had any. Angel yelped and turned his watery eyes to the purple demon, going cross-eyed when a claw was pointed at his face.

“Don’t talk like that about my friend. I will fucking kick your skinny ass, Angel Dust! AH-AH!” She slapped a hand over his mouth when he tried to protest. “You might be a sex worker, but you’re our friend, too. What you do in your free time, at work, that doesn’t matter – unless you’re actively participating in Turf Wars; then we worry. But we love you, Angel.”

Angel sniffed as they hugged again, then fussed when Bambi started cleaning his face of his smudged make-up. “You’re a sap, toots.”

“And yet, you’re the one who cried.”

“I’m gonna Get Help your ass in a minute like I did Scoots, swear ta Lucifer.”

A few hours later, the gala for the official opening of the Happy Hotel was in full swing and Vaggie was losing her mind. Bambi was one of the patrons of the hotel, just like Alastor, and she was late. People were asking her and Charlie where the Deer was and neither had answers. Not even Alastor knew where she was besides going out with Angel.

As of now, Lucifer was gliding around the ballroom talking to other Overlords who had decided to attend. He was the only one in white and stood out even when dwarfed by Valentino and Vox. Stolas was also in attendance, but he was currently playing the part of a good husband while scoping out for Blitzo after being told I.M.P. was there.

No one envied the Imp and his situation.

“No need to worry, my dears. They’ll turn up eventually. My Doe does love being fashionably late after all!” Alastor smiled into his whiskey while taking a sip, enjoying the moth’s anxious fluttering about.

“Vaggie, sit down! You need to relax!”

Vaggie grabbed the Princess by her shoulders and shook her bit. “Charlie, your _Dad_ is here and he is looking for any sign of weakness!”

“He won’t find one, dear Vaggie.” Scout ignored the heated glare she sent their way. “The only disappointment he’ll find is his own.”

Vaggie opened her mouth to retort when Razzle let out three trumpets to announce the arrival of more guests, music pausing momentarily. Charlie got stars in her eyes when she saw who it was and Alastor simply closed Vaggie’s mouth with a finger.

“Announcing the Stereo Demon, Bambi, and her escort Angel Dust…” Dazzle adjusted their collar nervously. “…The Porn Star.”

Bambi was in a form fitting, sleeveless silk gown with a sweetheart neckline and a slit up to her hip on one side in a dark merlot. Her hair was teased into a mohawk, her antlers had silver rings scattered on random tines, and her usual scaled platforms adorned her feet. The dress showed off the dark purple of her legs and arms, looking like thigh highs and gloves, and the back plunged to just below her tail to show off the intricate markings there.

On her left arm was Angel Dust in a pastel pink dress in a similar cut to her own, but with a slit on both sides and the back was laced up with a fine black silk ribbon in a corset style, cinching his waist in more than it already was. He wore a pair of lovely black boots and silver jewelry on his neck and hands. Simple, but elegant and the silk spoke of power just like Bambi’s. It made all his pink markings pop beautifully and more than one person seemed entranced.

Both dresses had short two foot trains and seemed to be held up with Witchcraft and the frustration of others, alone. Double sided tape didn’t really work even with the shortest of fur, never mind the length and silkiness of the two Demons’ being announced.

Their make-up was on point and as Bambi led them all down the stairs, she kept a toothy, relaxed smile on her face. It looked more natural than Alastor’s, but it was just as dangerous. Angel had a similar smile on his face, knowing it was important to show who their allies were.

After all, the World is a Stage!

Charlie snuck a look at Alastor and knew that dress would be lucky to survive the evening judging by the predatory gleam in his eye. She didn’t blame him – Bambi rarely showed much skin and she found herself blushing at the duo on the stairs.

Wherever the two had disappeared to, they came back looking like they’d robbed an Overlord’s closet. Which made sense; Bambi had to make an impression on those in attendance since she’d taken the higher end of the Red Light district from Valentino just a few weeks prior. Alastor had no hand in that accidental take over, so she was on her own when it came to appearances.

“You two look _amazing_!” Charlie gushed, rushing around the duo to take in their outfits. “Vaggie thought you wouldn’t show!”

“You’re three hours late! Where were you?”

Bambi kept her smile in place as she detached from Angel to take Alastor’s arm and manifest her own microphone as he kissed her hand. “I took Angel out for his birthday. Miss Rosie was happy to close her shop for the day.”

“You visited Rosie without me? I’m wounded, darling!”

“Oh, hush, love! We’re invited to tea and coffee tomorrow afternoon.”

“That’s…” Vaggie shook her head in disbelief. “That’s one of the most exclusive clothing stores in this Circle!”

“It’s in my territory, Vaggs. Don’t worry about it,” Bambi said, waving off the concern. “Doesn’t Angel look absolutely lovely?”

The girls started to gush over Angel, making the Spider blush, and Scout and Alastor even gave a wolf whistle each! He wasn’t used to compliments that weren’t about his performance, but it was nice! Today was the first day he didn’t feel like an object when people fussed over him and it made his chest ache. Truly, it was some kind of twisted miracle to have found friends like this in Hell.

Everything was fine, Charlie even allowing Angel a drink, until a voice like oil disrupted the small talk. It didn’t help that hands had touched both Bambi and Angel too low in the back to be decent, even touching her tail.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?”

Bambi’s smile reached Alastor proportions and her glacial irises turned from their usual hearts into neon blue equalizer levels as she turned to face the Demon touching her. She locked eyes with none other than Valentino as she grabbed his wrist and bent it back, making his sleazy smile falter just a bit.

The crowd around them saw the pale blue outlines of speakers appear in the cradle of her antlers and shuffled nervously.

“You know better than to touch me, Val!” she giggled, letting his hand go and pulling Angel to her side, rubbing his side comfortingly when she felt how tense he was. “How can I help you on this _lovely_ evening - besides a lesson in some fuckin’ manners?”

“No need to get testy, little one. Just admiring the merchandise~”

“For fuck’s sake…” Scout took a deep pull of his root beer, wishing he could stomach even the slightest alcoholic beverage. Everyone here knew better than to bait Bambi. It didn’t end well.

“Since you took a chunk of my territory, I was hoping to make a deal -”

“At a charity event? Charmin’…” Angel winced when Bambi’s claws dug under the side of his dress, claws just warning in pressure, and took a long pull from his drink, draining it. He tapped the bar for another fruity monstrosity they’d taught Husk to make, keenly aware that Valentino’s eyes were locked on him.

Bambi might have Cherri Bomb, Charlie, and Alastor on her side, but they were outnumbered by Valentino and his allies right now. More than a few looked like they’d be willing to start a brawl here, which would probably take the hotel to the ground.

“Pardon Angel. He’s allergic to bullshit. Please, continue.” A few snickers in the crowd were heard and Bambi just tilted her head, equalizer eyes dancing in hidden mirth.

“Indeed he is…” Valentino’s eyes glared as he appraised Bambi before turning his attention back to Angel, despite speaking to her. “My offer is this; you give me Angel Dust and I’ll stop sending my men to reclaim the district you stole. I get my best whore back and you stop having to deal with petty bullshit, sweet thing. It’s a win-win.”

Bambi’s upper lip raised in distaste, making her smile twist unpleasantly. There were several things she couldn’t stand and Valentino had just done a majority of them. He’d touched her and Angel without their consent – her tail was an erogenous zone so that was an extra nail in the coffin, he’d referred to Angel and herself as merchandise, he threatened her hold on the territory she’d just gained and, therefore, her allies within it, he wasn’t looking at her while he spoke to her, and he’d used a pet name when referring to herself.

Only Alastor and her friends had the right to call her anything other than her name.

“So, give you my friend or you’re going to double your efforts to take a territory that’s almost tripled its profitability since I took over, endangering all of my allies within it, is that right?” she hummed to herself, swirling the drink she took from Alastor in her free hand. “Oh, dear. What an awkward situation.”

Valentino smirked at Angel, thinking he’d won. Even with the amazing day she’d planned with Scout’s help, Angel felt the telltale prickle of anxiety creep up his spine. He wasn’t an Overlord, he had no importance outside of the porn industry - besides some obsessed fans and constant little royalties that allowed him to spoil Fat Nuggets with premium treats every now and then. If it were him, he’d take the deal…

Charlie and Vaggie were tense beside them and Alastor’s grip on his microphone was almost enough to break it. The Demons and Sinners in their immediate vicinity were giving the interaction their complete attention, no move or word would be missed.

Bambi took a sip of the whiskey in her tumbler, considered it for a moment, then slammed the tumbler into Valentino’s face when there was a break between songs. He roared in pain and as he tried to wipe the stinging liquor and glass from his eyes, she cocked a fist back and slammed it into his face; breaking his iconic heart shaped shades and sending the shards further into his face. Stumbling back, the Overlord snarled at the petite doe.

“You fucking bitch!”

“Tsk. How rude,” Bambi tutted.

She brought her microphone to her mouth and vocalized into it before bringing it away. Tilting it just so, the low frequency of her alto voice could be seen rippling the air between her lips and the microphone. With a snap of her fingers, the same ripples came from the microphone and hit the Pimp Overlord in the chest.

Brand on her neck glowing an angry crimson, Bambi increased her volume until Valentino was on his knees on the marble floor with his hands covering the sides of his head where ears would be. She held the microphone directly over his body, keeping him in the frequency’s clutches even when she stopped singing.

Blood oozed from under his hands to mix with the blood from his face as he bent and touched his forehead to the floor, which was cracking under the intensity of the soundwaves hitting it. His pained howls could barely be heard over the noise she was creating.

“Now that I have the attention of every fucker in here, let me make a few things absolutely crystal clear!” she barked at the crowd, taking measured steps around Valentino’s prone body while making sure the microphone stayed over him. Her voice echoed and you could feel the bass of it in your chest, rattling bones and rearranging heartbeats. “I may be young, but I will **not** be disrespected by anyone during my long term stay in Hell. Not from Alastor, not from another Overlord, and certainly not from some piece of shit pimp that doesn’t know how to run his own fucking business!

“We wouldn’t even be in this situation if you’d left me the fuck alone when I was just looking for some cute lingerie that day, but no! You thought you’d be tough shit and try to take out the newbie protégé of the Radio Demon and lost the most profitable section of your territory for your trouble!” Bambi stopped to put a foot on the back Valentino’s head, pushing it against the cracked marble floor. “And now… You got your ass handed to you in front of all your fair-weather-friends and the King of Hell for the same bullshit reasons.”

Bambi paused to look around the room, gauging the reactions. Everyone was listening, good. Smile still in place, she continued.

“I might be supportive of the Princess’ cause, but I am not a fan of passivism and I can’t be redeemed. I will not deal with petty bullshit like Valentino needing to measure his dick against mine! You threaten my people, you threaten me. You threaten this hotel, you threaten me. Am I in anyway un-fucking-clear?” No one stepped up to challenge her after a minute, so Bambi released Valentino from the deafening frequency dome she’d trapped him in. “Someone drag this limp dick out of my sight and the hotel. The rest of you, please enjoy the night!”

With a tap of her microphone on the floor, the music started up again. After two of the hired servers dragged Valentino’s body out of the ballroom, the other guests continued on like there hadn’t just been violence in the sophisticated setting. Niffty was cleaning the floor, following the ones dragging the pimp like a Roomba.

Husk handed Bambi a bottle of whiskey as she breezed past to go out onto the veranda that overlooked the newly landscaped garden of the hotel, the small group following on her heels. Making sure there was no one in front of her and she was out of sight of anyone on the guest list, Bambi loosed a noise that reminded Vaggie and Scout of dubstep so loud that the plants that had been in the way had broken and stripped branches. She took a few calming breaths, spectral speakers dissipating and eyes going back to normal, before turning to look at her friends.

“I’m good.”

“Toots, ya didn’t have to do that.” Angel put a hand on her shoulder, waiting for the muscle to relax before continuing. “Ya just put a target on your back!”

“Like there hasn’t been one since Alastor broadcast me murdering my ex while I was alive,” she scoffed.

“Dontcha get it? Ya just embarrassed him in front of the most influential Demons in Hell! Over a Porn Star!”

Bambi took a swig directly from the bottle, grimacing at the burn. “You’re a broken record tonight, Ang. What’s ya point, babe?”

“Darling, I believe what your friend is trying to say is that he’s worried about your wellbeing,” Alastor said, taking the bottle from his mate despite giving her a proud smile. “You did just create quite a scene, which is just what it needed, in my opinion!”

“Smiles, she’s gonna have hitmen on her ass before the night is over!” Angel screeched. “How are ya so calm!?”

“She brought an Overlord to his knees in under a minute, Angel. For you!” Charlie piped up finally, grabbing Bambi’s hand and squeezing it tightly. “Just to defend you and, by extension, the hotel!”

“It’s not the message we want to send with Redemption being our goal, but it makes the hotel look like a safe haven of sorts.” Angel gave Vaggie an exasperated look. She wasn’t helping.

“No one fucked with my friends while alive, no one’s fuckin’ with them while I’m dead, neither!” Bambi declared.

“Either, darling.”

“Al, I swear to God -!” Bambi growled at the man, eyes narrowed, before she turned to Angel. “What did I tell you at Miss Rosie’s?”

“That you’d fight my ass?”

“After that, Bubba.”

Angel crossed four out of six arms, the other two on his hips. “… I am not repeating that sappy shit in front of anyone here.”

Bambi grabbed the hands off his hips to hold them, despite the ridiculous size difference. “I said that what you were or what you did didn’t matter. You’re still our friend, we love you, and we want you to be happy.”

“I’m pretty sure Beebee is also stubborn enough to fight a Turf War single handedly in your honor, Angel,” Vaggie said, not looking like she disagreed.

“Fuck yes, I am!” she said proudly. “What is it that you told me, Charlie?”

Charlie opened her mouth to say the famous line, only for someone else to beat her to it.

“You don’t take shit from other Demons!” They turned to see Lucifer himself walking over to them and if Bambi wasn’t wearing her Resting Bitch Face before, she was now. “That was a marvelous spectacle, my dear!”

Both Deer Demon’s ears flicked back towards the voice, almost going flat, and their smiles turned strained. Alastor paused for a moment before taking several gulps from the whiskey and handing it back to Bambi. After taking her own drink, they passed it around, the only people not taking a sip being Scout and Charlie.

“Great… It’s the Apple Bottom Bitch himself…”

Charlie elbowed Bambi in the ribs before ushering her and Angel away, both all too glad to disappear back into the hotel. She knew Bambi was beyond having a filter at this point, despite being nowhere near her limit for alcohol, and Alastor could keep her dad busy. Al could talk about his dearest Doe all night long if you let him, it was sweet.

After stopping at her and Alastor’s room to change into something more comfortable and grab an overnight bag, Bambi flounced to Angel’s room in one of Al’s shirts and a pair of jersey booty shorts (completely hidden by the giant shirt). She didn’t bother trying to undo the braids or teasing of her hair, Angel could help when they did their mini-spa treatments.

Tonight was going to be a Girl’s Night, of sorts, with drinking games.

Hell’s most adorable piglet met her at the door, body shaking like a corgi while he tried to wag his curly tail and jump up for lovins.

Bambi’s RBF cracked into a genuine smile as she picked him up like a baby, tickling his stomach, and cooed, “How’s Momma’s favorite bacon bit? Did you have fun with Aunty Teeth? Did she give you all the treats in the world?”

“Bambalamb, uh… A little help?”

“Sure thing, Dusty. Whatcha need -!” She paused and covered her mouth with one hand, trying not to laugh. “Oh, Angel!”

Angel was sitting at his vanity pouting and miserable, all six arms crossed… and the open lace-up back was tangled all to shit. Seriously, there had to be a rat’s nest double the size of his own fist where the original bow was.

Giving up on hiding the giggles, Bambi took pity and put Fat Nuggets down. She glided over and started untangling the fine black silk ribbon. “Oh, Angie! You coulda waited for me! I didn’t take that long, did I?”

“I’m an impatient bitch, ya know that… Pretty sure I tangled my fur in there somewhere…” Bambi didn’t say anything about the small blush around his freckle-like eyes, just held a hand out for the detangler spray and set to work.

“It couldn’t have been more than five maybe ten minutes for me to change and grab snacks and drinks from my stash. How in Baphomet’s name did you do this?” she muttered while working on a particularly nasty gnarl of fur.

Angel held up one hand to show how shaky it was before going back to taking off his make-up. Bambi squeezed his shoulders comfortingly and went back to work. She was shaken up by Valentino’s stunt herself, but was comforted by knowing Alastor wouldn’t let anyone hurt her.

It took over an hour just to get the silk knot undone without ripping out any large amounts of fur.

Bambi gave Angel a back massage to get any residual tension out of his muscles before letting him get dressed in a pair of shorts, busying herself with setting out their drinks and snacks. She’d sneak the piglet a chip or two when Angel wasn’t looking, but he knew she spoiled him already.

Settling down next to the Reindeer, Angel turned on the Xbone she’d brought with her (courtesy of I.M.P.) and grabbed a controller. Didn’t matter which game she chose, he just wanted to take his mind off of the drama. Bambi cracked open one of the fruity malt liquors she’d brought over and sat on the floor in front of the Spider for him to detangle her own hair while she looked through her game library.

“Dontcha have anything that _doesn’t_ include gratuitous violence?”

“Nope!” Bambi popped the p as she picked _Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey_. “But we could start a new game and get the Aphrodite achievement – fuck everyone available in the main storyline.”

“That works.” Angel ran the brush through her hair and started to braid. “You play, I make da decisions, and then we switch after an hour?”

“Sounds good! Alexios or Kassandra?”

“Alexios. You haven’t played him with me yet, toots.”

“Alexios is a fuckin’ Himbo,” Angel deadpanned a few hours later. “This guy is dumber than a box of rocks!”

“They literally have the same dialogue, Angel! Both of them are dumbasses!” Bambi giggled.

“I know, but he just sounds so fuckin’ dumb! And then the armor we have is so revealing! What is this!?” Angel gestured angrily at the Athena armor set Alexios was in. “This isn’t historically accurate! His tits are out!”

Bambi almost spit out her drink when Angel used the camera setting to zoom in on Alexios’ chest. The armor was little more than some gold accents and white strips of cloth. One of her favorites on both Assassins for that reason, actually.

“At least he drinks his Respect Women juice?” she managed to squeak out.

Bambi was having a hard time taking Angel seriously. She’d been idly running her hands through his hair while he took his turns and the luxurious locks now resembled the Professor from _Back to the Future_. His near feral anger at the revealing armors of the game combined with his slight wobbling from how many drinks they’d slammed wasn’t helping her cause.

Poor bastard looked like her namesake

Fat Nuggets had long had his fill of their Shenanigans and was curled up in his bed in the corner, so used to the volume of their yelling he could and often did sleep through it.

Bambi grabbed the controller to do a quicksave and opened up Hell’s version of a video streaming service, figuring Angel could watch something to calm down. It worked like a combination of all the services on Earth, but included porn (which was not allowed during Girl’s Night). She could teach him how to use modern tech just fine, but Angel was a surprising stickler for historical accuracy in her favorite franchise and he got heated.

The Ezio Trilogy alone made him flip his damn bed!

Choosing _Cinderella_ , she dragged him down to lay on the bed. She straddled his back to tame his angry hair into a few pins so he wouldn’t have tangles in the morning, then got comfy next to him. One of his arms draped across her back and they settled into the Disney classic as per the tradition of catching him up on all the ones he’d missed.

“Ya know, this came out three years afta’ I kicked it,” Angel mused, pulling a bag of Alastor’s homemade jerky from Bambi’s bag. He was well aware it was almost guaranteed that it wasn’t made from an animal and he was willing to take that risk after tasting how good it was. “I remember my Ma readin’ the Grimm Brothers’ story ta me, though.”

“Yea?”

“Yup. Really fucked up, but those woulda made great horror movies!” Angel held out a piece of jerky for her.

“I know, right?” Bambi took the piece with her teeth delicately, making sure not to touch Angel’s fingers at all.

This is what Girls Night was about. Platonic cuddles, good food, and good entertainment – even if it was bad. No expectations from innocent touches, no having to leave in the morning, no having to pretend to like what was going on, no nothing.

Seeing the two of them hugging, cuddling, holding hands, or washing each other’s hair in the bath was so common in and outside the hotel, they had their own fanclub in the Pentagram. Alastor didn’t mind, he loved the performances they’d have in public that rivaled a Greek tragedy about betrayal. Bambi played into them, but Angel couldn’t keep a straight face.

Bambi being a survivor of an underground sex ring understood that there were times the persona had to be strong and when it had to drop. She’d had to explain it to Charlie as a defense mechanism after a particularly bad fight with Vaggie, but now everyone was on the same level.

For this, Angel was grateful. Bambi knew when he needed to be pushed and when to be left alone. It was a rare gift she had to be an empath in Hell, but she used it to her advantage and to help the guests/patrons of the Happy Hotel. He’d had more progress since Alastor teleported her into the lobby than the entire time he’d been there since her arrival.

“Hey, Bambi… Real talk for a minute?” She hummed from where her head was resting on his shoulder. Angel picked at the duvet before taking a deep breath. “Ya think there’s something to this Redemption thing? Is there really hope fo’ people like me?”

“Why wouldn’t there be? As far as we can tell, there is no one set of Sins that get you down here, it’s the amalgamation of all religions.” She shifted, stretching her back like a cat before settling down again, this time wiggling under an arm so she was half under him. “Sorry, little cold. Anyway, people end up down here for some of the stupidest shit, like stealing a loaf of bread to feed their starving family, or even if they regret the things they did. Can’t change the rules, so there’s gotta be a way to repent and go to Heaven for people like that.”

Angel was quiet as he mulled over her words. He definitely regretted the shit he had to do for his family while alive, his addiction to drugs and sex had been a way to deal with it all. It had absolutely carried over to his death and caused him to get into the same shit down here.

“How, though?” he whispered, Bambi barely heard it. “How do ya repent or even show that you’re truly sorry when the people ya hurt are already dead ‘n gone?”

“Forgive yourself, for one,” she replied, humming along to _So This is Love_. “It’s a rough way to start, one hundred percent, but that’s the first step. You can’t change the past, but you can learn from it.”

Angel scoffed and slouched so she was buried in his chest fluff. “Yea, okay, Rafiki.”

“Pbbt – Angel! Let me up!”

The Spider let her squirm and rabbit kick his side for a few moments before sitting up, shit eating grin on his face and hers red from giggling. They shifted back into a comfortable tangle of limbs, Bambi telling Alastor goodnight through her microphone while Angel moaned obscenely over her shoulder, and settled in to a marathon of movies.

“I can’t imagine someone who spoils their pet the way you spoil Fat Nuggets actually belonging in Hell. You always make sure he has what he needs before you even think of getting drugs, even when you’re having withdrawals.” Bambi pet said piglet fondly. “I can name several people that would be jealous of how you treat him and that’s halo worthy to me.”

He smiled to himself and let Bambi be the comically small Big Spoon as he drifted off. Maybe there was something to this Redemption thing…

Not that he’d tell Vaggie that. It was too much fun to rile her up.

**Author's Note:**

> If you are reading this anywhere other than AO3, it was stolen and reposted without my permission and I do not want it on that platform.  
> You can follow my Tumblr here at [Alastor's Bambi](https://alastors-bambi.tumblr.com/).  
>  **I do not support the app Fanfic Pocket Archive.**


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